Seeking to dispel accusations of pathological flip-flopping, “Mitt” Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights.

Now that he’s the presumptive Republican nominee, I guess “Mitt” will also have to exterminate earlier iterations of himself such as the one that wanted to force women with babies out of the house and re-enter the labour pool so they could experience the “dignity of work” and the one that vowed to support so-called “personhood” legislation that would effectively make the pill illegal.

2 Replies to “Mitterminator”

  1. The republicans seem to be in competition on who’s ideas are shittier for the good ole’ USA. Gingrich: “my child labour plan is better!” Mitt: “my plan guarantees children will have to work at least eighty hours to qualify for overtime!” Paul: “I need to channel her lord and savior ayn rand”. Pure funny.

  2. Yeah, it does indeed seem to be a frantic “race to the bottom” in terms of sheer idiocy when it comes to pandering to the most cretinous elements of the Republican base.

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