God Withdraws Support for Perry

Following a series of hapless debate performances and a campaign trail littered with innumerable (albeit hilarious) gaffes that left him woefully polling in the range of his presumed IQ, Texas Governor Rick Perry decided today to pull the plug on his doomed bid to be the next Leader of the Free World.

Seeing as Perry made no secret of his belief that God had signalled support for his White House bid, should we now deduce that The Almighty Creator of the Universe was just messing with the Texas Governor?

Broke-Back Perry

Another great parody of Republican ad; this time, Rick Perry’s pathetic attempt to rile up homophobic Bible-thumpers:

You don’t need to be in the pew each Sunday to know that Rick Perry is an imbecile.

Rick Perry: Lying Douchebag

Here’s the latest attack ad from the Rick Perry campaign:

“Can you believe that?” Governor Perry incredulously asks. “That’s what our president thinks is wrong with America… that Americans are lazy?” Hmmm. I wonder where Perry might have gotten his inspiration for this grotesque distortion from? Oh, right, of course… GOP TV (aka Fox “News”):

It’s absolutely pathetic that President Obama cannot make a legitimate, factually accurate observation about genuine shortcomings in his country’s business development and foreign investment policies over the past two decades without being viciously and dishonestly attacked for doing so.

Lies (and the Lying Liars who Tell Them) Update:
How refreshing to see a pundit call a spade a spade; i.e., that Rick Perry and Mitt Romney are deliberate LIARS.

Lawrence O’Donnell clarifies what Obama was actually saying before his words were taken out of context:

He`s saying our government has been a little bit lazy about that over the last couple of decades. It`s actually a very Republican-sounding idea that government is, to some extent, standing in the way of new business coming in to this country and that government has to make the business climate in this country more welcoming to business. It`s a classic Republican pro-business statement with a little insult to government thrown in there.

Is there a Republican out there who doesn`t think that the government, the government, is a little bit lazy? Is there a Republican out there who doesn’t think that every single government worker is a little bit lazy? Is there anything in that statement a Republican would disagree with? Of course not.

But if you just cut out a few words in the middle of it and show that to people, just like I just did with Mitt Romney and Rick Perry, then you have got yourself the makings of a Republican campaign ad. And yes, the campaign ad is based on a purposeful, and absolutely pure lie. And Republicans now want to make it the big lie of this campaign, the big Orwellian lie that President Obama thinks that Americans are lazy.

There are plenty of issues on which Republicans can legitimately disagree with Obama on… that they feel the desperate need to LIE perhaps says more about their own lack of integrity and intellectual feebleness than it does about anything else.

Oops!

In tonight’s latest installment of the GOP Dating Game, Rick Perry makes it clear that, if elected, he would immediately scrap three federal government departments: Education, Commerce, and… um, one he’s completely unable to identify by name.

In fact, it’s the Department of Energy the dumbstruck Perry was at a loss for naming. Considering he rails against it on the stump nearly every day it’s amazing that he completely blanked out under pressure. That’s a real confidence builder.

Update: Dub version of the gaffe embedded to replace the previous video that the copyright dickheads at CNBC had pulled.

Rick Perry v. 2.0

You may well have seen some or all of Rick Perry’s astounding speech last Friday to a conservative “family values” group in New Hampshire in which the Texas Governor goes a bit… well, crazy. If not, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow recaps some of it here:

Unlike Maddow (and many others) who seemed to be completely baffled and/or utterly mortified by Perry’s performance, I found myself being thoroughly entertained by his comedy stylings. Not quite a “Bulworth” moment, but it was actually a refreshing change from the droning blah, blah, blah of hollow rhetoric and mind numbingly dull piffle delivered by politicians on the stump.

Will it be Perry’s fatal “Dean scream” moment as Maddow posits? I highly doubt it. In the wacky Gong Show that is the Republican primary race, this manic, goofball routine can only redound to Perry’s benefit. I just wonder if he can repeat it on a consistent basis…

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Martin Bashir uses his sanctimonious “Clear the Air” editorial segment to indignantly rip into Texas Governor Rick Perry for his latest cack-handed attempt to burrow into the most loathsome depths of the Republican Party’s dark amygdale.

It’s surprising that Perry has tanked so spectacularly given all the fanfare and media hoopla surrounding him when he entered the race, but credit should be given to the apparent acuity of the much-maligned Republican base for realizing in fairly short order that the man is a pathetic, juddering idiot.

Jeffress on Real Time

Dr. Robert Jeffress, current head of the Southern Baptist Convention, in a surprisingly delightful feature interview on this week’s edition of Real Time With Bill Maher discussing some of his controversial comments about Mormonism and other issues…

p.s. You can catch the whole show here.

The “Magic Underpants” Factor

As a non-believer, I have to admit that it’s absolutely hilarious to watch the various candidates for Republican nomination frantically dancing around the comments made by Southern Baptist Convention Leader Dr. Robert Jeffress last week at the so-called Values Voters Summit.

Of course, it was inevitable that Romney’s Mormon faith would become a bone of sectarian contention in this race given that so many of the born-again evangelical teabaggers (or “teavangelicals” as a commenter on the Christian Broadcasting Network has taken to calling them) that make up the Republican base do, in fact, regard it as a “cult” (theologically speaking), if not actually a “false religion”… or, to quote Jeffress, “a heresy from the pit of Hell.”

Somewhat ironically, in order to sidestep the controversy, Republican primary contenders have been forced to publicly downplay the importance of faith – or at least their particular brand of faith – in determining the suitability of a candidate for office, thereby exposing what a ridiculous sham their de facto “religious test” is in the first place.

From Puppy Dogs to Perry

Rachel Maddow pokes fun at claims made by insane religious kook Cindy Jacobs that, as a direct result of Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s repeated calls for mass prayer, “the land is starting to rejoice.”

Never mind the unremitting persistence of a record-breaking drought in Texas or the recent spread of wildfires across parts of the state shortly following Perry’s stadium prayer event… Nope, for Jacobs, “proof” of its efficacy can be determined from the supposed lifting of the cannibal curses of indigenous peoples that had apparently long been troubling the churches of south Texas.

Meanwhile, over at the Sun “News” network, host Michael Coren is currently taking righteous umbrage at those who mock Christianity…

Rick Perry’s Guiding Light

Texas Governor and current frontrunner in the race to potentially be the next Republican president talks candidly about the pivotal role of supernatural events in his life…

Good grief. Hasn’t the world had enough of American presidents that take direction from an imaginary creator of the universe? I realize that notion may be highly encouraging to so-called people of faith, but to those of us who reject religious doctrine and deny existence of a supernatural realm, the prospect of a leader such as Perry is downright scary. Who knows what lunatic mission the Almighty might supposedly task him with?