Tag Archives: Newt Gingrich

Newt-a-Mania!

I guess winning the Georgia primary in tonight’s discount version of “Super Tuesday” may help Newt stay puft for a while longer in the race to be the standard bearer of ignorant, batshit-crazy white people across America, but what is up with the poor lad forced to hold a sign reading “Newt-a-Mania”?

Should be interesting to see how this putative appeal to deranged right-wing maniacs, that presumably are desperate for an egotistical windbag with the moral compass of a raccoon to be their leader, unfolds in the coming weeks.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election

Newt Will Destroy Alberta’s Economy

Desperate Republican no-hoper Newt Gingrich is currently promising that, if elected, he will reduce the price of gasoline to $2 per gallon. Maybe a terrific prospect for gas-guzzling American consumers feeling the pinch of rising oil prices, but not one without consequences…

To realize the promise of $2 per gallon gasoline would require a per barrel oil price of approximately $67. Most estimates, however, are that a market price of $75-$90 per barrel is required to make the heavy oil (bitumen, tar sands, or whatever you want to call it) strip-mined in northern Alberta a profitable venture. So, in other words, a Newt Gingrich regime delivering on its promise would effectively shut down the Oil Sands, thereby collapsing the Alberta economy and seriously damaging Canada’s bottom-line as a whole…

Of course, it’s ridiculous to imagine that the President of the United States can actually control the price of oil… Or is it? Well, according to Republicans (and their surrogate right-wing media outlets), President Obama is DIRECTLY responsible for ALL increases in gas prices at the pump. If that is true and if what Newt is promising is true… well, you do the math. Or, it could be that both of those things are complete bullshit.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Oil & Gas, Republican Party

Right-Wing Cat Killers

Jacob Burris, campaign manager for Arkansas Democratic congressional candidate Ken Aden, came home Sunday night to find his family cat dead on the front porch with the word “LIBERAL” written on the carcass.

For some bizarre reason, CNN won’t allow your presumably delicate sensibilities to be offended by the pic (better they suppose you should just vividly imagine it), so here it is:

Far be it for me to draw any connection whatsoever between this incident and the incessant stream of vile, hateful rhetoric that’s been directed towards “liberals” day in and day out for the past 30 years via right-wing media, let alone suggest that the seminal paper Language: A Key Mechanism of Control, penned by none other than Newt Gringrich, may have anything at all to do with it.

In complete fairness, we don’t actually know who committed this crime. Conceivably, it may be a (typically depraved) “liberal” seeking to tarnish the esteemed reputation of right-wing political activists… you know, just like the ones that are immediately determined to be “plants” of the nefarious Left whenever some especially crazed right-wing lunatic goes haywire at a rally or says/does anything utterly reprehensible.

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Filed under Right-Wing Haters, US Politics, Wingnuts

No Heat, No Light

Contrary to expectations and all the advance hype, it was quite a flat, disappointingly ineffective, and weirdly obtuse Republican “debate” hosted by NBC in Florida tonight.

That was probably the most heated exchange of the evening – a pointless quibble over what constitutes “lobbying” on behalf of government sponsored entities… Zzzzz. There was almost no discussion about jobs, the economy, or the fate of entitlement programs like Social Security.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

Only in America!

Quite an appropriate theme song by Toby Keith playing at last night’s victory rally in South Carolina…

Truly it can be said that “Only in America” could a pompous, selfishly scheming, ethically-challenged, morally bankrupt hypocrite like Newt Gingrich – who once grandiosely described himself as “the definer of civilization” – fake yet another religious conversion (like his marriages, for the third time), engage in an ugly campaign of mudslinging, race-baiting and war-mongering (all the while purporting to have a “positive” agenda of “big ideas”)… Then patriotically wrap his bloated corpulence in the flag and claim to be the last best hope the imaginary “American Way” – the defender of its mythical “shining city on a hill,” valiantly preventing its Reaganite golden gates from being stormed by hordes of phantasmal enemies: the media elites, radical liberals, and [insert specific object of your irrational HATE here].

Of course, “Newt the Redeemer” may not have fared quite so well at the ballot in South Carolina had his key opponent not been the “perfectly lubricated” Romneytron-6000; a vacillating, evasive, thoroughly disingenuous humanoid replicant whose bio-mechanical posturing, simulated rhetoric, pandering wingnut subroutines, and otherwise finely-tuned establishment programming repeatedly malfunctioned in staged “debate” scenarios causing the underwhelming Romneybot to lock-up and babble erratically about its ruthlessly calculating leveraged buy-out and tax-dodging activities of past incarnations.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Media, Republican Party, Wingnuts

Down & Dirty

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…

This isn’t the first time that Newt’s embittered second wife has emerged in the media to seek revenge for being cheated on and dumped for another woman, although it will most certainly be the last and most decisively inopportune. Karma is such a bitch.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

King of Bain

The complete film by the SuperPAC supporting Newt Gingrich called “When Mitt Romney Came to Town.” It’s quite an artful hatchet job.

As expected, the Republican establishment and most of the corporate media is pushing back strenuously against what it chooses to regard as an outrageous attack on Capitalism. Here, for example, is Newt Gingrich getting put through the wringer this morning by Steve Douchey and the not-so-friendly slackwits on Fox News:

Their follow-up guest was sleazy former NYC Mayor Rudy Guiliani who blasted what Gingrich and Rick Perry are doing as being “ignorant” and “dumb” – further claiming that “its building ignorance of the American economic system…it’s playing on the dumbest, most ridiculous ideas about how you grow jobs.”

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Economy