Advice for HarperCon Activists

The following information may be helpful in persuading recalcitrant voters that your leader is “Here for Canada”:

Take a knife with a locking blade and just stab the sidewall and push the blade in and out in a sawing motion. Hitting the sidewall makes the tire irreparable and there are few if any steel wires in the sidewalls (depending on the tire). You will get hurt if the blade closes on your fingers so use a lock blade or a knife that doesn’t fold. A stiff blade is best too… not a kitchen paring knife that is thin and will fold sideways on you.

Don’t worry about getting caught. Our flimsy liberal justice system will have you back in business in no time flat. So to speak.

By the way, thanks for not cutting the brake lines of Liberal supporters this time out! I think that definitely shows how much your team has matured in government over the last couple of years.