BNTITW: Secret Service Ducklings

A couple of Secret Service officers stationed outside the White House give a family of ducklings a lift…

Maddow says that it’s “100 percent politics free” but I disagree. Obviously this proves the officers are liberals because had they been Republicans they would have just let the stranded mallards fend for themselves on the sidewalk rather than giving them a helping hand to make it over the fence. Kidding… sort of.

Charlie Brooker on “Kony 2012”

Charlie Brooker’s rant about the Kony 2012 viral video, as seen on the British comedy program 10 O’Clock Live last week, including the round-table discussion that followed.

Along with countless millions of others, I watched the “Kony 2012” video recently, but unlike most, was completely creeped out by it. In fact, I couldn’t even make it through the whole thing because it was so incredibly puerile. Nice to see my intuition corroborated to some degree by Brooker’s focus on the “strange, weird, culty side” of this dubious marketing campaign/social media phenomenon. As David Mitchell said of the film’s director Jason Russell, “Nobody that certain can fail to be a maniac.”

Canada “Too Dangerous” for Cheney

As reported in local Toronto-area paper The National Post, former U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney won’t be appearing any time soon in Canada.

Ryan Ruppert, president of the ironically-named promotions company Spectre Live Corp., which had scheduled an upcoming appearance at the Toronto Convention Centre for Cheney and his loathsome daughter Liz, said the malevolent mass-murderer had cancelled the engagement, citing safety concerns.

“After speaking with their security advisors, they changed their mind on coming to the event,” Ruppert told CTV Network. They “decided it was better for their personal safety they stay out of Canada.”

Good!

Disappointed ticket holders for the event can either bring in their tickets for a refund, or go to a replacement talk by inflammatory racist Mark Steyn.

Death Star Project Under Attack!

Supposedly “scientific” calculations from elitist, fancy-pants researchers at Lehigh University released today estimate it will take another 833,315 years to produce enough iron ore and steel at current production levels to build the apocalyptic space weapon proposed by President Gingrich. The research team furthermore projects total cost of the “Callista” Death Star to be more than $852 quadrillion (roughly 13,000 times the world’s present GDP).

Republicans in Congress characterized the study’s findings as unpatriotic, counter to the relentless optimism provisions of the Exceptional Planetary Existence of Americans Act of 2015, and furthermore dismissed its estimates as wild exaggerations based on “excessive facts and inordinate reason.” Pentagon officials also weighed in on the controversy, insisting that continued development of the colossal 140km space weapon is absolutely vital to the national security interests of the United States and its ongoing war on unspecified intergalactic terrorism.

Online Privacy

Rick Mercer lays a smack-down on Vic Toews and Bill C-30, his warrantless online spying legislation.

Remember folks… you’re either with the philandering old pervert accused of shtupping his babysitter or you’re with the pedophiles and child pornographers. Sorry, but those are the only available choices on offer in Harperland.

Cleese Responds to Futile Comments

John Cleese responding to YouTube comments in a video posted on the Monty Python channel. In this video, hear what elderberries taste like, Cleese’s take on religion, and what, exactly, constitutes true stupidity.