Category Archives: Blogging Tories

Now What?

With four in ten of the less than two-thirds of Canadians that bothered to vote on Monday having decided to give Stephen Harper the reigns of power until at least 2015, what changes can we reasonably expect to see over the next four years?

According to reports today, Harper indicates “he’s taking a no-surprises approach to majority government rather than contemplating any radical shifts in policy now that he has control of the Commons.” Well, of course he would say that… Now.

But how long will it be until the more “radical shifts” start appearing? And I don’t pose the question as idle fear mongering… just more out of a sense of morbid curiosity at what the Conservatives hope to achieve now that they’ve finally attained their long coveted majority. After all, there was a lot of implicit and abiding faith amongst the Conservative base that if ever given the opportunity to do so, they would effect dramatic changes to the very fabric of Canada.

Defunding the CBC and Radio Canada, for starters. Limiting the role of the federal government across the board, slashing taxes on enterprising “job creators” (i.e., the wealthiest 5%), auctioning off public assets, zeroing out corporate taxes and issuing in a sweeping wave of “hands off” deregulation in order to finally unleash the power of the “free market” to work its productive magic on the economy unfettered by meddlesome government bureaucrats. Not to mention other promises that have been implicitly made to the Conservative party base over the years… defunding the arts, criminalizing abortion, cutting or abandoning altogether social justice and welfare programs. You know the drill.

Now that the Conservatives have complete control of the House of Commons in addition to a majority in the “other place” and the ability even to load the bench of the SCOC with their own ideologically sympathetic appointees there should be absolutely nothing stopping them from implementing the full measure of their “agenda”…

Here’s another thing I’m curious about: What the heck are the Bloggin’ Tories going to do for the next four years? Demonizing a powerless opposition, while shaking their rhetorical pom-poms and blindly cheering on the Dear Leader’s every autocratic move seems like a rather dull prospect, doesn’t it?

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27 Comments

Filed under 2011 Canadian Election, Blogging Tories, Conservative Party of Canada, HARPER Government of Canada

Bloggin’ Tory Chickenhawks

Over the years, we’ve heard a lot of highly inventive excuses why bloodthirsty right-wing war-hawks and hateful wankers cowardly refuse to put their money where their bellicose, incessantly gibbering mouths are, but surely this [Note: The “Raging Tory” seems to have burned down his site, so the link no longer works — ed.] is one of the most fabulously lame of all:

I believe Canada needs to grow up and become a republic. I am sick of the monarchy, and will not serve in Canada’s military because they swear an oath of allegiance to the crown, rather than our nation. This means that if the British were to invade Canada, our military would, by law, aid the British invasion. Whether or not they would do that as individuals, I don’t know.

The monumental stupidity of this craven, self-serving thesis defies description.

81 Comments

Filed under Blogging Tories, Wingnuts

A Referendum on Obama?

That’s what some boneheads like the interminably dim Justin Hoffer would like people to think about the results of last night’s U.S. elections, but unfortunately, the facts simply don’t bear him out (not that it ever stops nitwits like that from making their ridiculous assertions).

No, fact of the matter is that Obama’s ratings are actually higher now than they were this time last year and, as pointed out by DNC Chairman Kaine, exit polls indicated the gubernatorial races in New Jersey and Virginia were based on local issues and candidates (both of whom for the Democrats were absolutely terrible, by the way — an inconvenient little fact never mentioned in the Fox “News” article the Ragin’ Tory cited as his reference point).

As for the Democrats’ historic victory in New York’s 23rd Congressional District (the seat had been Republican since the Civil War), Doug Hoffman did not lose “because of the GOP pushing their RINO candidate so strongly” as Hoffer imaginatively asserts. He lost because: a) he doesn’t even live in the district; b) he had no grasp (or interest) whatsoever in local issues; c) he was a kook who pledged his “sacred honor” to a Fox News talk show host. That, and the fact that Scozzafava (the “RINO”) who dropped out of the race at the last minute threw her support behind the Democrat Owens, even going so far as to make robo-calls on his behalf. As for the GOP having pushed Scozzafava “so strongly” that’s just ludicrous. Aside from obligatory, lukewarm endorsements from Chairman Michael Steele and Minority House Leader Boehner (oh, and the support of Newt Gingrich — for what little that’s worth these days), all of the “star power” in the party was foursquare behind the upstart Conservative candidate Hoffman.

But, as I said, Bloggin’ Tories like young Justin never, ever let pesky ol’ facts get in the way of their pathetic arguments.

54 Comments

Filed under Blogging Tories, Obama

Bad Suits X3

Why are these smug jackasses smiling so deliriously?

3 Bad Suits

Your guess is as good as mine… quite possibly better.

Update: By the way, seeing as we’re on the topic of Preston Manning (kind of), where on earth is the Manning Institute getting all the money needed to mount the lavish advertising campaign they’ve undertaken of late on prime-time TV? Surely such an effort must cost millions of dollars… It just strikes me as somewhat bizarre. Is the commercial space being donated, because I really can’t see how it makes any sense at all as a business proposition… Perhaps one of our crack journalists could look into that.

46 Comments

Filed under Blogging Tories, STEPHEN HARPER Govrnment of Canada

True Blue

A brief excerpt from Ruby’s (aka “Harper Girl”) fringe show wherein she expresses her heartfelt adoration for the Dear Leader as opposed to all his potential leadership rivals as only a true blue groupie, Kool-Aid® drinker or run of the mill Bloggin’ Tory, possibly could.

The rather sad fact of the matter is that there are no potential leadership rivals on the right — it s a fairly thin bench when you think about it…

So, while Harper may well be in a state of absolutely brilliant ascendancy at the moment, it’s only by virtue of a relatively ineffectual opposition and a complete lack of any kind of serious challenge from within his own party comprised as it is of fossilized wrecks, bland technocrats, insufferable hacks, purblind ideologues, and thoroughly mediocre half-wits.

26 Comments

Filed under Blogging Tories, Humour, Stephen Harper

Bugger Protests!

Jabba the Douche

Yes, yes… we’re shooting fish in a barrel here, but really, who can resist? I mean, come on… it’s all too mudfortunately atrocious. (Not to mention Freudian…)

27 Comments

Filed under Blogging Tories, Idiot Bloggers

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Whaaaaa

Shorter Hunter: A handful of people posted some “mean” remarks when pointing out my fact-challenged partisanship, catastrophic stupidity and phenomenal ignorance, so now I’m not going to allow any of these “lefty trolls” who disagree with me to post any comments whatsoever!

Free speech, ladies and gentlemen — Bloggin’ Tory style.

Irony Bonus: This from the same person who once claimed (absent evidence of any kind) that, “The lefties attack free speech… because it doesn’t agree with their tiny little minds, no room in there for thought nor the ability to understand different viewpoints.”

More “Hunter” Fun Update: Here’s another lovely bit of comedy from the blogger who’s perpetually (and unsuccessfully) clawing her way “out of the dark” apparently.

Lefties, it’s okay for them to protest (they love Acorn and unions), but when ordinary Americans try it, they are unAmerican, Astroturfers and besides that, they are too well dressed to be real protesters. That is what the lefties do, they hire protesters, usually homeless people, so they expect the same slimy behaviour from their opponents. They can not understand that these are real Americans, who are concerned about their health care.

As a last resort, they swear and name call, like my little trolls. Dim bulbs.

There you go folks, “Lefties” aren’t “real Americans” they’re hired homeless people, union thugs or community activists (usually poor, urban blacks). Similarly, she has described “Lefties” in the past as “weak, pathetic excuses for real Canadians.” It seems that only “conservatives” are “real” citizens in Hunter’s world. Isn’t that cute?

Additionally, she’s branded liberals as: corrupt, disgusting, slimy, dim, immoral, unprincipled, socialist thugs and wimps that are “destroying our country!” Thank goodness she doesn’t engage in name calling because that would be like… you know, massively hypocritical.

41 Comments

Filed under Blogging Tories, Free Speech, Idiot Bloggers