Monthly Archives: February 2012

The Right Height of Trees

Vocalizing to a small group of carbon-based supporters in Michigan earlier this week, “Mitt Romney” – the android launched many years ago by a venture capital fund to become the first completely non-human Republican nominee for President – pretended to express his/its deep affinities with and positive responses to various aspects of the state where he/it was, so to speak, “born and raised”…

Amongst the utterly predictable elements of Mittbot’s pandering subroutine about his/its enduring “love” of American cars, lakes (both great and little ones), etc., a notable standout was the mysterious observation that, “It seems right here. The trees are the right height.”

Some political pundits found the remark to be oddly disturbing, but jokingly sloughed it off as yet another unfortunate “Conehead” moment where the logical analytics of Mittbot’s programming simply failed to connect with actual human experience.

That’s certainly one way of looking at it, but I really think the press should insist on a more detailed explanation of Mittbot’s curious expression, or at the very least attempt to gain a better understanding of what he/it regards as the qualitative indicators for optimal forestry.

34 Comments

Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Humour, Republican Party

Vic Toews Should Retire… Now

Harper’s embattled Public Safety Minister claims that he “didn’t exactly say” that people could either side with the Conservatives or with child pornographers regarding those who oppose Bill C-30, his laughably named “Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act.” Only thing is… that’s exactly what he DID say – on the official record yet!

Toews should resign; it’s as simple as that. Better yet, he should just cash in his abundant stack of pension chips and retire altogether. This cynical, prevaricating old fool no longer has any credibility whatsoever. Too bad Stockwell Day isn’t around any more – by comparison, he was vastly more competent in this particular role.

11 Comments

Filed under HARPER Government of Canada, Legal Issues

Foster Friess on Contraception

Rick Santorum’s billionaire “sugar daddy” stuns MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell with his retrograde “joke” on the subject of contraception:

Hard though it is to believe that U.S. politics of late has shifted into the bizarre realm of ridiculous “culture war” issues like contraception, it’s absolutely no surprise whatsoever that the key backer of the current GOP frontrunner would reveal himself to be an anachronistic old codger who’s flippant notion of birth control is that “gals” should just stop spreading their legs.

29 Comments

Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Culture Wars, Republican Party, Wingnuts

Winning By Stealth

Rachel Maddow (with the help of Doug Wead, a senior advisor to the Ron Paul campaign) describes how the wily old coot is attempting to exploit flaws in the present Republican caucus system to gather delegates to the GOP convention irrespective of how votes were actually cast in the caucus by people less than fanatical in support of their candidate.

As quirky, barely legal, and wholly anti-democratic as it may seem, I guess one can hardly fault the Ron Paul campaign from taking advantage of loopholes in the system that inadvertently enable crazed diehards to ultimately prevail as delegates.

2 Comments

Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party, US Politics

Political Discourse in America

Mindlessly chanting “USA, USA, USA!” the audience at CPAC shouts down a handful of “Occupy” protesters that were attempting to disrupt a speech by former political celebrity Sarah Palin with inane chants of their own.

Evidently, the CPAC attendees “won” the contest.

Update: Another example of lofty debate from the CPAC event… In this instance, conservative provocateur Andrew Brietbart repeatedly commands a noisy group of “Occupy” protesters to “behave” themselves, then goes on to call them “filthy freaks and animals” before angrily demanding they stop raping and murdering people.

30 Comments

Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, US Politics, Wingnuts

“Obock Obama”

Wearing a matching sweater vest, Foster Friess, the billionaire investor backing Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum’s frothy campaign to be Theocrat-in-Chief of the Free World, introduces his pet candidate at CPAC 2012:

After opening with a mildly amusing (albeit implausible) joke at the expense of Mitt Romney, Friess goes on to observe that rather than supporting hackneyed old political warhorses as the Republicans have too-often done in the recent past, Democrats have won presidential elections by bringing “fresh faces” like Carter and Clinton “from out nowhere”… A fair enough comment perhaps, but then he goes on to add, “they bring Oback Obama from beyond nowhere.”

So where exactly is “beyond nowhere”… Chicago, Hawaii – Kenya, perhaps? And how utterly puerile is it that this high-rolling billionaire doesn’t see fit to call the President of the United States by his proper name, but instead deliberately mangles it for comic effect?

4 Comments

Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Racism, Religion, Republican Party, US Politics, Wingnuts

The Real Opposition

Although the Liberals may have been reduced to third-party status in parliament after the last election, there’s little doubt that, largely thanks to the feisty leadership of Bob Rae, they are presently the de facto Opposition to the Harper Government®.

If polled, I wonder how many people would even know who Nycole Turmel is? Or, for that matter, any of the hapless mediocrities vying to helm the “New” Democratic Party…

17 Comments

Filed under Canadian Politics, Liberal Party of Canada, NDP

Batshit Crazy Festival 2012: aka CPAC

Only in America could there be such an event as the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) – an annual gathering in Washington where nearly 10,000 angry white men and fiercely intolerant women come to hear a bizarre assortment of raving mad lunatics speak to their deepest prejudices, phobias and collective fears.

Update: CPAC closed out their first day with a “conservative comedian” (almost by definition an oxymoron) stalking the stage, angrily railing on about the evils of car safety measures like seat belts and airbags.

10 Comments

Filed under US Politics, Wingnuts

Santorumentum!

Def: The frothy mix of media hype and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of non-binding Republican primary victories.

How sad is it that a moronic theocrat like Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum is viewed by a majority of Republican primary voters in the heartland of America as a preferable alternative to the “perfectly lubricated weather vane” that is Willard “Mitt” Romney?

And again… where were all the Ron Paul supporters? I thought they were supposed to prevail in these caucus states, what with their rabid grassroots enthusiasm and all. Maybe they were too busy getting stoned and spinning wild anti-Zionist/NWO conspiracy theories on internet forums to actually get out and… you know, vote.

6 Comments

Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, US Politics, Wingnuts

Dickens @ 200

Nifty little animated biography of Charles Dickens, the brilliant Victorian novelist who would have been 200 years old today, had he not died 142 years previously.

Though not his greatest literary achievement by any means, my personal favourite of all his works is “The Pickwick Papers”… such a delightfully curious book I was quite happy to discover at an early age.

7 Comments

Filed under Literature