The Right Height of Trees

Vocalizing to a small group of carbon-based supporters in Michigan earlier this week, “Mitt Romney” – the android launched many years ago by a venture capital fund to become the first completely non-human Republican nominee for President – pretended to express his/its deep affinities with and positive responses to various aspects of the state where he/it was, so to speak, “born and raised”…

Amongst the utterly predictable elements of Mittbot’s pandering subroutine about his/its enduring “love” of American cars, lakes (both great and little ones), etc., a notable standout was the mysterious observation that, “It seems right here. The trees are the right height.”

Some political pundits found the remark to be oddly disturbing, but jokingly sloughed it off as yet another unfortunate “Conehead” moment where the logical analytics of Mittbot’s programming simply failed to connect with actual human experience.

That’s certainly one way of looking at it, but I really think the press should insist on a more detailed explanation of Mittbot’s curious expression, or at the very least attempt to gain a better understanding of what he/it regards as the qualitative indicators for optimal forestry.