Bachmann Voted “Most Crazy” in Straw Poll

Unsurprisingly, God-bothering lunatic Michele Bachmann emerged triumphant in today’s Ames, Iowa straw poll winning 28.6 percent of the nearly 17,000 votes cast, narrowly edging out libertarian Ron Paul by 152 votes. Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty finished a distant third in the mock election with just 14 percent of the crazy vote.

As for the rear of the pack, Rick Santorum pulled in 10% of people that enjoyed his gooey homemade jam and didn’t bother to Google his name. Former Federal Reserve appointee, fast food executive and sometime gospel singer Herman Cain got 9%, and Mitt “Corporations are people too!” Romney, the presumed front-runner for the GOP nomination, garnered just 567 votes or a measly 3% of support from the corn-fed nutters. Other dismal losers in this ridculous carnival included Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, and the eccentric Thaddeus McCotter.

No telling at the moment how many of the 718 write-ins for Rick Perry were actually spelled with an “A” – for America.

6 Replies to “Bachmann Voted “Most Crazy” in Straw Poll”

  1. Perry tried that back in April:

    WHEREAS, throughout our history, both as a state and as individuals, Texans have been strengthened, assured and lifted up through prayer; it seems right and fitting that the people of Texas should join together in prayer to humbly seek an end to this devastating drought and these dangerous wildfires;

    NOW, THEREFORE, I, RICK PERRY, Governor of Texas, under the authority vested in me by the Constitution and Statutes of the State of Texas, do hereby proclaim the three-day period from Friday, April 22, 2011, to Sunday, April 24, 2011, as Days of Prayer for Rain in the State of Texas. I urge Texans of all faiths and traditions to offer prayers on that day for the healing of our land, the rebuilding of our communities and the restoration of our normal and robust way of life.

    Since then, there’s been no rain. In fact, the drought only got worse.

  2. Since then, there’s been no rain. In fact, the drought only got worse.

    For God looked upon his creation in Texas, and saw that they were dumb.

  3. Not to say that Texans are dumb, but about 40 percent of students in that state don’t even graduate high school. Sadly, it’s not quite the worst in the USA in that regard… in some states more than half don’t graduate.

  4. Sorry RT, I admit that was a facetious retort, bordering on flippant. More to the point, Texas is up there with Oklahoma in vehemently denying that fossil fuels are the main cause of climate change …and here they are praying to the Almighty for rain.

    I know there are many intelligent Texans out there, but unfortunately not enough of them. That and with the possible exception of Ann Richards, the governors Texans have elected lately is rather indicative of their overall intelligence level.

  5. Not surprising; Texas and Oklahoma are the heart of conventional oil extraction and their politicians are all captives of the petroleum industry. Also, like in Alberta, that industry is a strong part of their identity and “heritage” if you want to call it such… something that’s now deeply embedded in the psyche of locals. You have to understand that when attacking the “fossil fuel industry” many of them take it very personally — not only because they may have a direct connection (whether it be working for the oil companies or being part of their supply chain) and therefore view it as an assault on their livelihood, but also those who benefit from public investments the industry makes in various ways to their communities.

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