Harper’s Remarks Following G8 Summit

Official PMO version: “At this meeting, leaders agreed that international coordination is essential to address remaining economic risks and maintain growth not only for Canada but also for our partner countries.”

Unofficial version: “Bonjour. Hello everyone. I’m Stephen Harper. None of you know who I am, but as you might have gathered from all the flags back here, I’m the leader of Canada. Today, I’m obligated to read a minute’s worth of complete bullshit that was written for me before ever coming to France, where I played no significant role of any kind, but pretended to be in high level discussions that will remain an oblique mystery to everyone and could just have easily been sorted out in a jiffy via a short teleconference.”

Suggestion: Feel free to substitute your own counterfactual version of Harper’s platitudinous blather in the comments.

Update: My bad. I forgot that you cannot embed videos from the PMO. Nor can you comment on them or rate them. It’s all part the vaunted “transparency” that The Harper Government® is all about.

Here’s another version complete with the follow-up press conference.


4 Replies to “Harper’s Remarks Following G8 Summit”

  1. “So, it’s all good. Clearly, though, Canadians must be disappointed that our partner countries completely ignored my insistence that Middle East ‘peace talks’ [*cough*] must proceed on a basis totally unacceptable to the Arab world and thus guaranteed to perpetuate exterminatory violence and brutal oppression well into the next millennium. Fuckin’ Euroweenies. That’s what you get for just trying to be helpful”.

    Nor can you comment on them or rate them.

    Which is a shame, since Harper is missing an opportunity to data-bank the IP addresses of rogue anti-regime ideo-terrorists and place them under the custodial monitoring of the Bureau of Dogmatic Hygiene. Dimitri and the lads have been off their game lately. Complacency? Or are they just finally getting laid?

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