As you may have heard, according to evangelist Harold Camping, the Rapture is going to occur on May 21st – this weekend!
For true believers concerned about the post-Doomsday fate of their pets, some atheists are happy to provide a solution. For a fee of $135 plus $20 for each additional animal (payable in advance, naturally) a company called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets will drive to your home within 24 hours, find your dog, cat, bird, or caged rodent and adopt it for up to 10 years.
Advice for the Raptured Update: Somegreybloke offers some courteous tips for those about to be teleported to the great hereafter. You know, don‘t drive, don’t go on a vengeful pre-Rapture killing spree… that sort of thing.
Thanks to “Philosoraptor” in the comments for that one.