Soldiers… On Our Streets…

In Urban Camouflage?

This story has been stuck in my head for some time now and I just can’t figure out the logic behind it. Why on earth is our Defence Department creating camouflage designs based on the “unique requirements” of the urban settings of Vancouver, Montreal and Toronto?

As Eric Graves, the editor of Soldier Systems Daily, a U.S. website that reports on the uniform and equipment industry, says: “It makes zero sense for the Canadian military to produce an urban pattern based on their own cities unless they plan on fighting there.”

Maybe I’m missing something here… Perhaps our Conservative friends can illuminate what’s behind the new “Canadian Urban Environment Pattern” for the military because the point is completely lost on me.

48 Comments

Filed under Conspiracy Theories

48 responses to “Soldiers… On Our Streets…

  1. Tomm

    RT,

    It is lost on me as well.

    “urban camouflage” based on Canadian cities?

    Say what?

    Mogadishu, ok…

    Sarajevo, ok…

    Toronto, ???

    Further, what would it look like?

    Back alley graffiti?

    Fashion from the Player’s Ball?

    or are we talking about Zoolander and the “Dereleect” Collection?

  2. Why on earth is our Defence Department creating camouflage designs based on the “unique requirements” of the urban settings of Vancouver, Montreal and Toronto?

    Because, when our southern friends finally run out of water or decide to “secure” Canada in order to provide the protection from radical Islam we cannot provide for ourselves, they may need the assistance of our Forces to suppress whatever resistance can be expected from anti-American dead-ender insurgents in our liberal urban enclaves. So it’s important to give our guys the camo they’ll need to keep themselves safe from Loyalist snipers.

    Remember, we’re talking about Harper’s Ministry of Defence here. It’s not too much of a stretch.

  3. Tomm

    Paul Martin will be SO vindicated.

  4. Tomm — Yeah, I couldn’t help but think of those ads from the 2005 campaign.

    I wonder why the Libs don’t raise the issue in QP. Seems like an inflammatory touchstone to me… (quite aside from anything partisan, btw — if the Libs were in office I’d ask exactly the same question.) It’s just weirdly inexplicable.

  5. This isn’t that difficult.

    The government is not necessarily planning to do any fighting in Canadian cities. Rather, it’s planning to be prepared in case it ever has to do any, for any reason.

    We may enjoy talking about this portion of our history too much, but I’d remind all of you that Canadian troops have been deployed in Canadian cities before.

    Montreal? 1970?

    I wouldn’t be so bold as to suggest that the government is planning to have to fight the FLQ, per se. But other terrorist groups?

    Fortunately, not likely. But it pays to be prepared.

    Prepared. Not paranoid.

  6. If you’ll allow me to lower the tone of the conversation a little, this immediately reminded me of the main news-anchor guy from The Simpsons, when talking about the military:

    “Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be… The Killbot Factory.”

    But maybe that’s just me. And I think Patrick’s point was a good one.

  7. hemmingforddogblog

    What does one wear to fight in Le Plateau (Montreal’s Gay Village)? For some reason I see Dear Leader in his leather vest and cowboy hat — soooo Village People! 🙂

  8. Walker — Quoting “Kent Brockman”… priceless.

    It’s tempting to go full Alex Jones on this one and I certainly won’t go there… Perhaps Patrick has a valid point about preparedness but to me it’s also a rather unconvincing one. If as he says the government is merely “planning to be prepared in case it ever has to [fight terrorists] for any reason” then what possible benefit would be gained from being camouflaged?

    Our police, who I’m given to understand are responsible for law enforcement on our streets, most certainly aren’t dressed to blend into the urban environment — in fact, they’re quite conspicuous in their appearance.

    Moreover, in what conceivable scenario would the Canadian Forces be combating “terrorists” on the house-to-house level of say… Stalingrad?

    Makes no sense to me.

  9. What does one wear to fight in Le Plateau?

    A snappy outfit by Valentino or Hugo Boss, I would think. 😉

  10. billg

    Preparing for the next Stanley Cup parade in Toronto?? 🙂
    billg

  11. And I think Patrick’s point was a good one.

    I don’t doubt you do, dittohead. Unfortunately Patrick’s point was so absurd that it boggles the mind. Even if a terrorist group did appear in a Canadian city and start causing mayhem it wouldn’t make a difference if our soldiers were outfitted in camo tailored to match. If such a thing mattered then surely urban swat teams, who actually do respond to situations quite similar to the one Patrick thinks we need to prepare for, would be outfitted with it.

  12. Robert — Exactly. Perhaps Patrick can expand on his whack-doodle notion of terra-fightin’ camo for the CAF.

  13. When the Forces were deployed to Afghanistan they only had Forest-Green camouflage, and it took far too long for the Bureaucracy to provide them the Desert-Taupe pattern.

    It only makes sense that they have access to all patterns that may be required so that they are protected when so deployed.

    It pains to me agree with Patrick Ross, but that is the rationale.

  14. CWTF

    A snappy outfit by Valentino or Hugo Boss, I would think.
    You do realize last time Hugo Boss made army uniforms it was for the SS….

  15. Paul Raposo

    Well, when the gun registry is scrapped, soldiers will need to be able to hide from all the gun toting nuts running ’round Canadian cities.

  16. CWTF

    When the Forces were deployed to Afghanistan they only had Forest-Green camouflage,
    Likely because Hillier was prepare for jungle warfare…

  17. It only makes sense that they have access to all patterns that may be required so that they are protected when so deployed.

    If we were talking about being deployed to a city in a failed state in the Middle East or Africa I’d agree with you. But these morons are preparing for a deployment to frickin Toronto. This–Mel Lastman calling in the Reserves to clear snow–is what a deployment to Toronto looks like.

  18. You do realize last time Hugo Boss made army uniforms it was for the SS….

    Really? I did not know that.

    I almost got married in a Hugo Boss suit, but it was about $500 (quite outrageously expensive at the time). I suspect however that had I purchased it then, I’d still be wearing it now — not right now, of course… but you know what I mean.

    Another one of my little regrets in life.

  19. When the Forces were deployed to Afghanistan they only had Forest-Green camouflage…

    Funnily enough, the Armed Forces have now discovered that their Euro-NATO Forest-Green camo is actually quite well suited to the Afghan terrain.

  20. ATY — It pains to me agree with Patrick Ross, but that is the rationale.

    And so it should… because it’s an utterly specious, completely ridiculous premise. What, pray tell, is the difference between the “Canadian Urban Environment Pattern” for Toronto and Montreal?

    I’m almost tempted to file a FOI request to find out.

  21. Shaddup, CWTF, you little twerp coward. You got nothing to say. I KNOW you want some of dat urban camouflage to hide your yellow ass.

  22. Shaddup, CWTF, you little twerp coward. You got nothing to say. I KNOW you want some of dat urban camouflage to hide your yellow ass.

  23. What, pray tell, is the difference between the “Canadian Urban Environment Pattern” for Toronto and Montreal?

    I’m guessing that Toronto’s would look like this while Montreal’s would look like this.

  24. Brad

    The RepubliCons election platform is Fear and Force! They create the fear through intimidation and messaging, while spending billions on creating a stronger military. Where are they on the other issues? Obfuscation and misdirection!

    The Liberals, on the other hand, are having a difficult time with their message, trying to cover all the issues. They need to take a page from the RepubliCons, focus their message on a few key issues and use KISS – that apparently being the level of understanding of the average Canadian or, at least, how long they are capable of focusing.

  25. Robert — LOL Nice pics! The “Blue Boy” from TO is priceless.

  26. CWTF

    Red, the picture is a fake:
    http://pixyland.org/peterpan/photo_closeups_bbMW.htm

    PeterPan is just disturbing…

  27. Brad — No kidding. The messaging that comes from the liberal side of political spectrum is beyond pathetic for the most part.

    Here’s an example that’s struck me recently. The Republicans and other right-whingers harp endlessly about the $1 trillion healthcare bill (or $800 billion if you take the Senate version)… But that’s over 10 years! So it’s really only $80-100 billion per year. Now, imagine if military spending was accounted for in the same way. In that case, we’d be talking about a budget of $4-5 trillion. Why don’t the Dems start talking about the $5 trillion “defense” budget in order to put things in perspective?

    Urgh.

  28. CWTF — It’s still funny.

  29. “I don’t doubt you do, dittohead.”

    Wow, Robert. A variation on poop-head, perhaps? Don’t stay up all night working out your next insult, too.

  30. Navvy

    Why don’t the Dems start talking about the $5 trillion “defense” budget in order to put things in perspective?

    Speaking of which, isn’t the idea of a war surtax that a couple dems are talking about ingenious? I’m of the opinion that Canadians would be alot less apathetic about Afghanistan if we got a bill for $100 a month for all the “progress” being made over there.

  31. Jim

    I think it’s simple really. The CF has no current urban camo in the disruptive digital pattern.

    As well, I think it is safe to assume that the creeching would have been alot louder if the gov’t announced they were designing their urban camo based on New York or Washington.

    I do however believe that they should have focused on a desert tan load bearing vest first. Our soldies still field a CADPAT LBV in A-stan.

  32. Navvy — Hear, hear! The Americans have been paying for their foreign adventures “off the books” for the last 8 years and Obama is now continuing this appalling trend. And here at home where is the $20 billion or so that our pointless excursion in the Afghan hell-hole is cost us being hidden? Slapping a 5% surtax or whatever on the unearned income of the wealthy elite for their belligerent war-mongering seems entirely fair to me.

  33. benalbanach

    A gift voucher to Old Navy should do the job.

  34. Jim — I shall have to remember to preface everything I say in future with “I think it’s simple really” as that tactical device is invaluable when trotting out a lot of complete rubbish afterward.

  35. Jim

    What part would be rubbish to you?

    You are such a crotchety old fuck sometimes.

    Your paranoia over a new uniform pattern is quite funny.

    Sometimes a uniform is just a uniform.

  36. Jim — I’m quite happy to take the “crotchety old fuck” remark as a compliment.

    As for what part would be rubbish… Well, let’s start with your first response: “The CF has no current urban camo in the disruptive digital pattern.”

    A) I suspect you don’t actually know that for a fact, and;

    B) It’s entirely beside the point in any case because the contentious issue raised here was why the CF is developing “urban camo” for our own major cities.

    On to your second point: I think it is safe to assume that the creeching [sic] would have been alot [sic] louder if the gov’t announced they were designing their urban camo based on New York or Washington.

    I think it’s safe to assume that’s a strawman argument. Really, does it even deserve the effort required to dispute the point? As I said… rubbish.

    Finally, we come to: I do however believe that they should have focused on a desert tan load bearing vest first. Our soldies [sic] still field a CADPAT LBV in A-stan.

    Impressive use of jargon “desert tan load bearing vest” and “CADPAT LBV in A-Stan”… Awesome. And entirely meaningless. You may have a point to make here, but articulating it more fully would perhaps benefit your argument and make it somewhat less like… you know — rubbish.

  37. Ti-Guy

    Impressive use of jargon…

    Isn’t it though?

    It’s probably the thing I hate the most about militarism. The attraction it has for the type of people who think regurgitating mystifying jargon is the same thing as being informed.

  38. Jim

    Perhap I should have been clearer.

    CADPAT as well as some info about Canadian camouflage…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CADPAT

    A Canadian load bearing vest…

    And hey, TiGuy, go fuck yourself, you cocksucking troll. 😉

  39. Jim — That CADPAT page is quite hilarious. (Unintentionally so…) And thanks also for the pic of the “load-bearing vest”…

    Sorry, but I have to agree with TG here in terms of being kind of horrified by the “mystifying jargon” associated with the military. And here’s what really strikes me as kind of funny in an ironic sort of way… how is it that people who clutch so dearly to the military embrace with a sort of zealous, orthodox passion their inane bureaucratic bafflegab and vacuous gobbledygook when otherwise, in the civil sphere of government for example, they vehemently despise and denounce it? Rather curious, that.

  40. Ti-Guy

    The faux-erudition demonstrated by the use of jargon and familiarity with technological minutia bothers me for two reasons:

    1. We’re *all* paying for this and it’s very expensive.
    2. All of these resources are directed, ultimately, to an activity the main objective of which is destruction.
    3. We’re presently engaged in a military adventure which is ill-defined, mystifying, likely pointless, corrupting and unpopular with Canadians. This ain’t WW2. It’s not even the First Gulf War, which I supported.

    Would that other public goods and services, useful ones like education and health care, got these little boys as tumescent as the war toys and the images of strapping hunks outfitted like modern-day gladiators do.

  41. Ti-Guy

    Sorry, that was “three” reasons.

  42. Ti-Guy — Would that other public goods and services, useful ones like education and health care, got these little boys as tumescent as the war toys and the images of strapping hunks outfitted like modern-day gladiators do.

    It’s all about sex. And “urges… in their ‘areas’…”

    Maybe we need a new class of eunuchs to govern us. Or technocrats… basically the same thing.

  43. I don’t doubt you do, dittohead. Unfortunately Patrick’s point was so absurd that it boggles the mind. Even if a terrorist group did appear in a Canadian city and start causing mayhem it wouldn’t make a difference if our soldiers were outfitted in camo tailored to match. If such a thing mattered then surely urban swat teams, who actually do respond to situations quite similar to the one Patrick thinks we need to prepare for, would be outfitted with it.

    Wow. That’s the kind of stupid remark that makes me wish I blogged at five in the morning, too.

    Seeing as how Robert clearly doesn’t understand the purpose of camouflage, I won’t bother to explain it to him. If he wants to insist on driving the average IQ around these parts down a few dozen points, I won’t get in the way.

  44. Ti-Guy

    Maybe we need a new class of eunuchs to govern us. Or technocrats… basically the same thing.

    I have to say that this resurgence of masculine bravado to mask masculine insecurity among conservatives is probably a reaction to a few decades of re-orientation of traditional gender roles. I’d have less of a problem with it if it weren’t so juvenile and cretinous. Like cartoons of masculinity. Same with conservative women, by the way. Like little children pretending to be grown up women and men.

  45. Ti-Guy

    That’s the kind of stupid remark that makes me wish I blogged at five in the morning, too.

    Patsparkytwats: this blog in on Pacific Time.

    Christ, you’re ignorant.

  46. Forty-five responses and still a zero.

    These three Canadian cities account for the vast majority, if not all, of that lovely social experiment crafted from above called multiculturalism. When the Post-Peak Oil SHTF, i.e. societal collapse, people being people will resort to type, i.e. their tribes. Cities are death traps. Not one in 100 knows how to survive beyond ripping open the next bag of Frito-Lays.

    This is good. Been several months since I checked in and I get a bingo!

  47. SR:

    “Bingo”? “Craps”, perhaps–if you’re being serious, that is.

    If so, tell me–in a Peak Oil situation, with urban infrastructure and social cohesion in total free-fall, why the fuck would government expend military resources attempting to contain an inherently uncontainable catastrophe? And where would it find the logistical wherewithal to do so? I’m not aware of a privately-held reserve energy capacity that would allow our military to operate after the rest of the nation has collapsed.

    Central authorities tend to retrench, retreat, and withdraw resources and pull inwards when colossal crises hit them. They don’t stand and fight in order to hold urban redoubts that have no strategic value. Consult the history of Roman and British imperial decline in that regard.

    Incidentally, I’m bi-racial–ethnically Anglo-Caribbean, culturally Franco-British. When the call of “tribalism” rings out, which tribe should I join? Just wondering.

  48. Patsparkytwats: this blog in on Pacific Time.

    Christ, you’re ignorant.”

    Ti-GuyMariaSSparkyliberalsupporterwhoeverelseyouliketoposeas

    Pointing out that Robert McClelland is as stupid at 8AM as he would be at 5AM doesn’t exactly bail out your little buddy.

    But let’s face it: you have bigger problems to deal with than me.

    Gender confusion, for example.

    What, are you some kind of shemale or something?

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