If Harper Was a Tree…

Like many Presidents before him, President Obama planted a commemorative tree on the White House Grounds today. The 25’ Littleleaf Linden replaces an Oak planted by President Harrison in 1889.

So, if we had a similar tradition here in Canada and Stephen Harper was a tree… what kind would he be?

Update: It’s a Tree!

30 Comments

Filed under Obama, Stephen Harper

30 responses to “If Harper Was a Tree…

  1. Ti-Guy

    The Linden has a lot symbolic value for middle- and eastern-Europeans.

    Ergo, Obama’s a communist.

    I like all trees. So I can’t imagine Harper as a tree. But I can imagine digging a hole and putting him in it.

  2. LOL Oh man, you’re wicked.

  3. austin

    Considering when he was asked which vegetable he would be he chose a fruit, I am going to say he would be drift wood. He’s ripped out of his natural habitat and just kind of floating around.

  4. Navvy

    I’m with Ti-Guy, can’t we just dedicate a garbage bin? Or how about one of the cats on The Hill… an especially diseased and cranky one.

  5. Ti-Guy

    Harper’s robotic, unspontaneous personality should be commemorated somehow, though….

    If Harper were a domestic appliance, which one would he be?

  6. Prairie Kid

    I’m not sure what kind of tree Harper would be but I know Ignatieff wouldn’t be a tree. He’d be a plant.

    Oh wait, no, I believe Mark Sakamoto is the plant.

  7. counter-coulter

    Suprised no one mentioned the Strangler Fig. It gloms on to a “host” tree to survive eventually leaving its host dead and hollowed out.

  8. Grammin

    dudes, like high-fives all around!
    let’s make silly remarks on a lame-ass on account of our own guy being even worse and getting killed in the polls, with nary a hope of having his party regain the rural vote for a generation!

  9. Navvy

    I have a can opener that refuses to work… just mangles.

    I don’t know, figs can be pretty tasty.

  10. austin

    If Harper were a domestic appliance, which one would he be?

    A juicer, he has an ability to liquefy things.

    Not my first thought but i decided to keep it clean.

  11. Ti-Guy

    Suprised no one mentioned the Strangler Fig. It gloms on to a “host” tree to survive eventually leaving its host dead and hollowed out.

    This is Canada. We only have, like, three or four different kinds of trees.

  12. Ti-Guy

    but I know Ignatieff wouldn’t be a tree. He’d be a plant.

    A tree isn’t a plant?

    Gosh, prairie folk are ignorant. Then again, the barren wasteland isn’t actually known for its trees.

  13. Bob

    If Liberals were vegetables?

    Skunk Cabbage…………………..but wait they’re already vegetative in their cognizance.

    Heh………………………………

    How the hell are you doing Martin?

    It’s been a while……………

  14. benalbanach

    That would be a Lava Tree.

  15. Harper is a Poison Sumac.

  16. hemmingforddogblog

    Harper is a Manitoba Maple. An invasive species, that once it takes root is hard to get rid of. Only good for fire wood.

  17. Weeping Willow – cries, pouts, bends to poll pressure and blames everyone else for his misdeads.

  18. Willow in human culture
    The willow is a famous subject in many East Asian nations’ cultures, particularly in paintings (pen and ink) from China and Japan.

    A Gisaeng (Korean Geisha) named Hongrang, who lived in the middle of the Joseon Dynasty, wrote the poem “By the willow in the rain in the evening”, which she gave to her parting lover (Choi Gyeong-chang). Hongrang wrote:

    “…I will be the willow on your bedside.”

    Willow trees are also quite prevalent in folklore and myths. In English folklore, a willow tree is believed to be quite sinister, capable of uprooting itself and stalking travellers.

  19. Grammin — Oh lighten up. When you get lemons… make lemonade. Just having a bit of fun.

    People are free to turn it into a “If Ignatieff was an appliance” or whatever.

    It can’t all be serious doom and gloom or sober discussion of weighty issues of the day. There are plenty of other times (and places) for that.

  20. Geez, you’re not even allowed to have any fun with these Cons.

    Mercer is fun – and he attacks all and we take it with humour, why can’t you guys (Grammin).

  21. Now, if Stephane Dion were a tree, he’d be a weeping willow.

  22. hemmingforddogblog

    Pay attention Patrick. The question was ‘If Harper were a tree…”. I know you are trying to stay relevant but sheesh.

    RuralSandi: Everyone knows that the Cons don’t have a sense of humour and Patrick is living proof!!!

  23. A manitoba maple, that giant weed tree, that has no strength, only sprawl.

  24. Ti-Guy

    Apparently, Patrick Ross is sock-puppeting on Blogger using the username “MariaS.”

    Disturbing, if true.

  25. hemmingforddogblog

    That is so kinky.

  26. Omar

    Harper would be a Tamarack Larch. Quite common here in Nova Scotia. It’s a small tree whose bark is wound tight and is really flaky. Its leaves are needle-like (think prick-like) and it apparently produces the smallest cones (think tiny penis) of any larch. It also likes swamps. A real winner this tree. Not a leader.

  27. Ti-Guy

    That’s my favourite tree…it’s the only one that provided colour in the autumn where I grew up. It was also relatively rare, so we had a claim to fame because we had one in the back yard.

    Now you’ve ruined it.

  28. SMcG

    Poison Sumac

  29. Tomm

    If Harper were a tree, I would suggest the majestic Paper Birch.

    Useful for furniture, firewood, and the bark can be used for baskets, canoes, or as paper.

    It is also the provincial tree of Saskatchewan which doesn’t mean much except that Harper is quite “poplar” in Saskatchewan.

    I would suggest Ignatieff as an American Chestnut.

    Layton as a “red” oak. Red oak wood leaks and can’t be used to hold water (ha,ha).

    Elizabeth May would have to be a May Day tree (susceptible to black knot). Sweet flowers in the spring but requires a lot of pruning.

    Duceppe would be some sort of crabapple. You know, the kind with a slightly acidic taste…

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