Torture: A Modest Proposal

How about we take Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly and all of these other manly men who scoff so dismissively with great contempt at the various kinds of illegal “torture” — oops, sorry, “enhanced interrogation techniques” authorized by the Bush administration — and subject them to each and every one of the methods that have been painfully outlined in the OSC memos released earlier this week…

And how about we broadcast that live on TV? Don’t you think we could learn an awful lot of enlightening stuff about what’s really going on with the U.S. government? Because… you know, these “enhanced interrogation techniques” actually do “work” at getting to the truth, right? And don’t we all deserve to know the truth at absolutely any cost?

Update: Never let facts get in the way of things…

11 Replies to “Torture: A Modest Proposal”

  1. Don’t forget Nancy and Harry, they were in on that deal too. Or how about Obama taking credit for the cold blooded killing of those poor Somolian pirates.

  2. Sounds like a plan – talk about viewership. Hey, the number of viewers is really important and this would do the trick for any TV media that’s losing it’s audience.

  3. Yes, it worked for Christopher Hitchens didn’t it?

    All for these techniques until he was water boarded. He rather quickly said it was torture.

    I’m looking for an Abu Ghraib pile on with Rove, Bush and Cheney…though, I think they might really enjoy that…


  4. Ugh. There’s a horrifying mental image…

    More seriously, I was actually thinking of Hitchens’ experience and how he changed his mind about waterboarding after being subjected to it (twice).

  5. Sickening prick. I couldn’t watch more than one minute of O’Reilly telling us that WaPo is “left leaning” and that waterboarding had produced three good pieces of intel (yeah? give examples, you douche.) Life-saving information? Give examples.


  6. Yes, Hitchens did change his mind, sort of, and then went on to vouchsafe for the same torturers. Truth be told, Hitch didn’t really get waterboarded at all. Torture involves total domination, the abject loss of all power. Once reduced to that state of helplessness, fear becomes uncontrollable. The mental element is at least equal to the physical aspects of torture. Hitchens knew he could call it off which he did after just 10-seconds. He wasn’t ‘tuned up’ physically and mentally for weeks in advance and he had no expectation of ever losing control. The worst thing is that nowhere in his subsequent comments did he give the slightest acknowledgement of these factors.

  7. But I will confess to a dream I had three or four years ago. I was in a helicopter, a Huey with the doors open. One at a time, I threw out Rumsfeld, Rove and Cheney taking appropriate pauses to watch each tumble to earth.

  8. Ah, so we can all dream a little dream then…

    I’ve often thought how much fun it would be to paradrop some our Bloggin’ Tory chickenhawks into a war zone just to see the piss running down their pantaloons before they crap themselves silly with fear prior to getting their damn fool heads shot off.

  9. Funny how these great manly men like to fight their wars from the comfort of a warm TV studio. Cheerleaders for a war they will never have to fire a shot in and always willing to fight to the last drop of somebody else’s blood. Intellectual eunuchs with a masculinity complex!

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