Tag Archives: Rick Santorum

Santorumentum!

Def: The frothy mix of media hype and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of non-binding Republican primary victories.

How sad is it that a moronic theocrat like Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum is viewed by a majority of Republican primary voters in the heartland of America as a preferable alternative to the “perfectly lubricated weather vane” that is Willard “Mitt” Romney?

And again… where were all the Ron Paul supporters? I thought they were supposed to prevail in these caucus states, what with their rabid grassroots enthusiasm and all. Maybe they were too busy getting stoned and spinning wild anti-Zionist/NWO conspiracy theories on internet forums to actually get out and… you know, vote.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, US Politics, Wingnuts

BLR: Rick Santorum

Looks like the folks at Bad Lip Reading (BLR) got their mojo back after a few duds following the priceless Rick Perry BLR, “Save a pretzel for the gas jets”… Maybe it helps if the subject is stark raving mad to begin with. Just a theory.

p.s. Sorry for being MIA for the last week. That’s what happens when you get super-busy with work. Not that I’m complaining!

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Humour, Republican Party

Profile in Gutless Pandering

At a rally in Florida the other day, a disgruntled bigot drew enthusiastic applause from a crowd of likeminded Republican tools when she claimed that Obama is “an avowed Muslim… who has no legal right to be calling himself president.” Standing silently at the podium, Rick Santorum tacitly condoned her slanderous bullshit before responding with asinine remarks of his own that simply affirmed her more paranoid assertions.

Whatever else his faults, when confronted with a similar situation back in 2008, John McCain at least had the essential decency to school some of his more fearful, addlebrained supporters.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party, Right-Wing Haters

Santorum Comes From Behind!

Not a terribly big surprise that homophobic religious wingnut and trigger-happy war-mongerer Rick Santorum would emerge triumphant from last night’s lunatic fracas in Iowa. Beating out competing Christian zealots in the race to not be Mitt Romney with the power of endless shoe leather and attractive sweater vests, the man who dare not be Googled finally succeeded in winning the hearts and “minds” of the mostly white, evangelical Republican voters of Iowa.

Despite endless waffling about whether or not to actually engage in the race, widely detested Willard “Mitt” Romney placed second – a position he’s sadly not unfamiliar with in his lengthy political career as a non-politician.

Much as expected, when push came to shove, actual support for libertarian crank Ron Paul was far less than anticipated or hoped for by his fanatical, frequently batshit crazy boosters, resulting in a disappointing third-place finish in the over-hyped and largely meaningless Iowa caucuses.

As for the other losers in the Republican clown car…Newt Gingrich formally jettisoned the ridiculous pretence of running a “positive” campaign, ominously threatening to gun up his rhetorical chainsaw in New Hampshire; Rick Perry demurely stated he’s going to retreat to Texas to reconsider his options; and pathetic last place finisher Michele Bachmann vowed to stay in the race for some completely inexplicable reason.

Note: Santorum may not actually have won the Iowa caucus. At the time of writing, it could be that a somewhat lesser evil may have ultimately prevailed by the narrowest imaginable sliver of the 0.015 percent of Americans voting last night.

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Filed under Republican Party, Wingnuts

Dog on Santorum

Another doomed Repubican aspirant (a much more appropriate word than “hopeful” I think).

Speaking to a small group of supporters in Florida last week, Santorum said that throughout his political career he’s faced mighty obstacles and has soldiered on. To illustrate the point, he recounted the time he was campaigning for Congress in 1990 and had a rather unfortunate encounter with a lap dog…

“The next thing I know I have this warm sensation. And I immediately jump up and there on my tan pants, is a wet spot where you do not want a wet spot.”

Inspirational stuff.

Oh, and to save you the trouble of investigating what Maddow is slyly referring to in connection with Santorum’s problematic Google connection, it’s the definition that can be found here.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

President “Man-on-Dog” Santorum?

More evidence that the Republican Party cannot possibly be taken seriously:

But wait, there’s more. Later this week, adulterous grifter Newt Gringrich is also going to formally announce his candidacy to the nation via Facebook and Twitter.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

Primary Intelligence

Here’s one of Frank Luntz’s infamously clueless focus groups speaking their “minds” following the first Republican “debate” in South Carolina – an event described by some as a “freak show” that was avoided by the tallest pygmies currently in the race to be Republican presidential nominee.

“I have never had this kind of reaction until tonight. Something very special happened this evening,” said Luntz, after the 29-person group unanimously concluded that former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain had “won” the so-called debate. Just a single person in the group began the night supporting Cain.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party