Tag Archives: Rick Santorum

Santorum Comes From Behind!

Not a terribly big surprise that homophobic religious wingnut and trigger-happy war-mongerer Rick Santorum would emerge triumphant from last night’s lunatic fracas in Iowa. Beating out competing Christian zealots in the race to not be Mitt Romney with the power of endless shoe leather and attractive sweater vests, the man who dare not be Googled finally succeeded in winning the hearts and “minds” of the mostly white, evangelical Republican voters of Iowa.

Despite endless waffling about whether or not to actually engage in the race, widely detested Willard “Mitt” Romney placed second – a position he’s sadly not unfamiliar with in his lengthy political career as a non-politician.

Much as expected, when push came to shove, actual support for libertarian crank Ron Paul was far less than anticipated or hoped for by his fanatical, frequently batshit crazy boosters, resulting in a disappointing third-place finish in the over-hyped and largely meaningless Iowa caucuses.

As for the other losers in the Republican clown car…Newt Gingrich formally jettisoned the ridiculous pretence of running a “positive” campaign, ominously threatening to gun up his rhetorical chainsaw in New Hampshire; Rick Perry demurely stated he’s going to retreat to Texas to reconsider his options; and pathetic last place finisher Michele Bachmann vowed to stay in the race for some completely inexplicable reason.

Note: Santorum may not actually have won the Iowa caucus. At the time of writing, it could be that a somewhat lesser evil may have ultimately prevailed by the narrowest imaginable sliver of the 0.015 percent of Americans voting last night.

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Filed under Republican Party, Wingnuts

Dog on Santorum

Another doomed Repubican aspirant (a much more appropriate word than “hopeful” I think).

Speaking to a small group of supporters in Florida last week, Santorum said that throughout his political career he’s faced mighty obstacles and has soldiered on. To illustrate the point, he recounted the time he was campaigning for Congress in 1990 and had a rather unfortunate encounter with a lap dog…

“The next thing I know I have this warm sensation. And I immediately jump up and there on my tan pants, is a wet spot where you do not want a wet spot.”

Inspirational stuff.

Oh, and to save you the trouble of investigating what Maddow is slyly referring to in connection with Santorum’s problematic Google connection, it’s the definition that can be found here.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

President “Man-on-Dog” Santorum?

More evidence that the Republican Party cannot possibly be taken seriously:

But wait, there’s more. Later this week, adulterous grifter Newt Gringrich is also going to formally announce his candidacy to the nation via Facebook and Twitter.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

Primary Intelligence

Here’s one of Frank Luntz’s infamously clueless focus groups speaking their “minds” following the first Republican “debate” in South Carolina – an event described by some as a “freak show” that was avoided by the tallest pygmies currently in the race to be Republican presidential nominee.

“I have never had this kind of reaction until tonight. Something very special happened this evening,” said Luntz, after the 29-person group unanimously concluded that former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain had “won” the so-called debate. Just a single person in the group began the night supporting Cain.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Republican Party

Savage Love

I don’t really have much to say about this other than that I’ve always been a fan of Dan Savage and his amazing sex advice column that used to appear in Monday Magazine, the “alternative” newspaper in Victoria, until it was dropped mysteriously a number of years ago.

It was funny to learn that he quite literally writes from the desk of Ann Landers.

So, just out of curiosity, I Googled “Santorum” (as in the idiotic “man on dog” former Republican senator and potential presidential aspirant) and discovered, much to my amusement, that his name is now synonymous with “a frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.” Heh. Good luck in Iowa, Rick!

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Filed under LGBT, Media

Foxes…

Temporarily Suspended from Hen House

Nice to see that Fox News is protecting its vaunted “fair and balanced” journalistic integrity by suspending the contracts of a couple of its many hired contributors that are now, or have indicated that they may possibly be, running to become the 2012 Republican nominee for President of the United States.

Surely, if nothing else, this absurd dilemma points out the fact that Fox News is little more than a free publicity machine for right-wing hacks, if not an egregious agit-prop wing of the Republican Party.

Oh by the way, when is that Sun TV News channel going to start up in Canada? You know, the one that’s going to provide “Hard News and Straight Talk”… Just thought of that for some odd reason.

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Filed under 2012 U.S. Election, Media Bias