Seeking to dispel accusations of pathological flip-flopping, “Mitt” Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights.
Now that he’s the presumptive Republican nominee, I guess “Mitt” will also have to exterminate earlier iterations of himself such as the one that wanted to force women with babies out of the house and re-enter the labour pool so they could experience the “dignity of work” and the one that vowed to support so-called “personhood” legislation that would effectively make the pill illegal.
At Gettysburg, PA (of all places!) Rick Santorum announced today that he’s throwing in the towel on his bid to become the Theocrat in Chief of the United States.
No surprise really, considering that in all probability he would otherwise have lost the primary later this month in his home state. Not only would that have been a crushing blow, but also a bitter personal reminder of the defeat that saw him ousted from the Senate in 2006. Better to end his improbable yet relatively successful campaign on a positive note rather than waging an ugly and futile campaign against Mitt Romney’s vastly better-financed attack machine.
Viewing his emotionally touching concession speech it’s not hard to see why so many people were attracted to Santorum – he comes across as warm, genuinely compassionate and, as pols say, “relatable”… What a tragic shame for Republicans that Willard Romney has absolutely none of those qualities to his credit.
Some readers may recall a post from a little while back featuring Richard Dawkins appearing on MSNBC’s weekend “Up” program where he floated the provocative idea of taking politicians to task for some of their kooky religious beliefs… Well, guess what? It seems that someone did precisely that the other day at one of Mitt Romney’s “town hall” events…
Asked if it’s a sin for a white man to marry and procreate with a black woman, needless to say, being the gutless douchebag he is, Romney reacted to the question as if he’d just been tossed a red hot BBQ charcoal. “No” was his emphatic response before quickly turning to the other side of the crowd for a more scripted inquiry.
But wait, how can that be? Evidently, the God-inspired, yet indisputably racist proclamations of the Mormon religion’s “second prophet” (you know, following the grifter with the magic top hat) are currently null and void. That whole thing Brigham Young declared about “the penalty, under the law of God” as regards to whites conjugating with blacks being “death on the spot”… Well, not so much now, I guess.
I think we may well have a better insight into why Mitt Romney is, as one of his former rivals memorably said, such a “well-lubricated weathervane.” Seems Dawkins may have been onto something here after all when it comes to better understanding a political candidate’s mindset via their religious beliefs.
Wow. I’d heard about this attack ad put together by the Santorum campaign and finally saw it last night on Hardball. Chris Matthews and his fellow chuckleheads all seemed to have a good laugh at its apocalyptic absurdity and the fact it plays more like the trailer for a slasher movie than a political ad.
It’s quite a stunning piece of work, especially when examined closely. A site called businessinsider.com has broken it down frame by frame, along with hilarious commentary.
However, they’ve also missed a whole lot of “subliminal” things that were stuffed into this incredibly bizarre one minute video. Things you may not even have realized were there. So, stay tuned… In a future post I’ll try to tease them out for you — some are quite amazing.
During a campaign stop in Monroe, Louisiana, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum stopped at a shooting range for some target practice. Before aiming for his second target, a woman in the background can be heard to say, “Pretend it’s Obama,” then chuckle at her own amazing wit.
Note: The comment is made at 0:37 of the video.
True Fact: After a hectic day of impersonating a human being on the campaign trail, zillionaire and would-be Republican front-runner Willard “Mitt” Romney likes nothing more than to chow down on a sugary bowl of cold breakfast cereal every night before hitting the sack. Why, that makes him just like… well, not many people, actually. But hey, nice try!
What other fascinating details of Mitt’s lifestyle as an ordinary humanoid visiting from planet Kolob will be revealed by his campaign team in the weeks and months to come? Stay tuned!
I guess winning the Georgia primary in tonight’s discount version of “Super Tuesday” may help Newt stay puft for a while longer in the race to be the standard bearer of ignorant, batshit-crazy white people across America, but what is up with the poor lad forced to hold a sign reading “Newt-a-Mania”?
Should be interesting to see how this putative appeal to deranged right-wing maniacs, that presumably are desperate for an egotistical windbag with the moral compass of a raccoon to be their leader, unfolds in the coming weeks.