WILL IMMIGRANTS MOLEST YOU?
As Stephen Fry noted on Twitter earlier this morning, the new and improved Daily Mail-o-matic is a “fun toy for all the family”.
Now, if only we could somehow get a kooky Fox News Chyron and Auto-Feed-Generator going… Oh wait, never mind.
Update: Serendipitously related to the above in a somewhat tangential kind of way, here’s Australian author Max Barry discussing our society’s increasing preoccupation with avoiding risk.
Not hard to connect the dots…
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HAVE THE GERMANS HURT YOUR CHILDREN?
WILL THE UNIONS MAKE THE COUNTRYSIDE OBESE?
COULD RIP-OFF BRITAIN HAVE SEX WITH PROPERTY PRICES?
WILL THE UNEMPLOYED STEAL FROM BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?
We need to get the code and re-jig it to the favourite hobby horses of the National Post/Sun/Canwest/etc.
ARE IMMIGRANTS RUINING CLIFF RICHARD?
KEvron
http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/projects/daily_mail_headline_gene.user.js
a greasemonkey script version
COULD THE P.C. BRIGADE INFECT TAXPAYERS WITH AIDS?
COULD BINGE DRINKING TURN TAXPAYERS’ MONEY GAY?
I think we get the gist of the concept.
But what might be a lot funnier now would be to find actual headlines that are similar to the kooky, auto-generated versions.
Consider it a challenge!
IS “MOIST” A DIRTY WORD?
From The Toronto Sun.
*sigh* As I’ve said before, we just don’t have the tabloid press the US and Britain have.
Oh, I don’t know about that. The Sun chain is pretty close (albeit a feeble, anemic imitation) and Rupe’s New York Post south of the border.
But no… you’re right. It’s not quite the same level and degree of outright trash, irrelevant trivia, pseudo-scientific tripe, prurient filth, sporting thuggery, jingoistic paranoia, political hackery, and hysterical, agitated fear-mongering that constitutes the staple diet of the Brits’ hyperventilated tabloid press.
the ejankulous one doesn’t do it in his headlines, but his posts tend to depend on that kind of supposition. jeff wells, too.
KEvron
Janke is a truly unfortunate creature — a desperate sensationalist forever seeking to break shocking stories, but whose endevours always wind up in tepid let-downs and an utter lack of any real excitement whatsoever. The man never fails to disappoint.
My favorite thing about Fox News is the way that they’ll do an “exposé” of some tawdry thing (“out of control teen girls on spring break”) and then simply revel in non-stop looping footage of the thing they’re supposedly decrying.
Let’s not forget either Fox News’ “question” chyrons: Is Obama a secret muslim?” As Jon Stewart said: “they’re not making an accusation, they’re simply asking a question”
Or, in other words, “plausible deniability”… Colbert neatly summed it up with regards to Beck. He trots out something scary and outrageous to begin with then walks it back with some “common sense” qualifications before reiterating his initial batshit crazy nonsense again — TUNE IN TOMORROW!
COULD BINGE DRINKING GIVE THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY CANCER?
Max Barry is great. Haven’t read Company, but Jennifer Government is a very clever satire and a fresh, humourous take on dystopian fiction.
Speaking of immigrants, you have to watch this gem from Fox. They outdo themselves.
oh… my… god
Cripes when your “expert” is a talk radio host…you’re fucked.
What a bizarre report.
Who is talking about an introducing an NHS type system in the U.S.?
Oh right, nobody.