Darryn Jones* spoofs the now officially ridiculous Harper “sweater vest” commercials. In the two shown here, he mocks Harper’s painful efforts at embracing the concepts of bilingualism and multiculturalism — ideas that, in his past “Reform-Alliance” incarnations, he’s strenuously denounced.
Speaking of sweater vests and other such artifices, if you haven’t checked out the latest issue of Macleans yet, Scott Feschuck has a great piece on “Our biggest election EVER of this fall…” It’s quite a hoot.
The Harper we all know and . . . well, know anyway . . . is a ruthless political tactician devoid of conscience, charisma and the capacity to feel. But the Harper in the blue sweater vest! That guy is so open and vulnerable, so at one with his emotions, so at peace with nature that he can’t go into a rural riding without all the animals of the forest instinctively flocking to him, nuzzling his legs and gently lowering a wreath of wildflowers atop his head. Across the land, aunts have been crashing through security barriers just to pinch his cheek.
The credit for this emotional makeover goes neither to Harper nor the coming together of polyester and cotton — but to a team of scientists down at Conservative Labs. They’ve toiled for years on the vest, sheathing within its fibres a complex network of behaviour-altering technologies. It took a while to work out the bugs. When Harper first put it on, the vest’s proprietary Love of Country Enhancer was so strong that the Prime Minister immediately starting making out with a canoe.
Of Jack Layton, Feschuck says that his campaign strategy “appears to have been devised by someone who caught a few clips of Barack Obama on CNN.” No kidding. I caught a bit of him on CBC’s Canada Votes — Your Turn show last night talking with Peter Mansbridge and he was caught out LYING (Yes, let’s start using the L-word more frequently regarding Jack, when it’s applicable, why don’t we?) about cap-and-trade.
Contradicted on the facts by both a caller to the program and then Mansbridge, who rapidly affirmed what the caller had just said, Layton’s only response was “Well, you’re wrong.” Yeah, don’t let pesky “facts” like the 1.1% increase in GGEs last year get in the way of claims about that particular scheme’s efficacy when it comes to reducing emissions, as Layton confidently purported.
*From Victoria, BC, by the way. Yay!
14 Comments
September 18, 2008 at 5:52 am
“When Harper first put it on, the vest’s proprietary Love of Country Enhancer was so strong that the Prime Minister immediately starting making out with a canoe.”
Mr. Day was also seen rendezvousing with a sea-doo in a remote Albertan boathouse…
September 18, 2008 at 6:11 am
That’s a great article. It makes following the election news much more enjoyable.
In other news, did you catch the CTV coverage of Dion with the little kids at the daycare? I just really looked at it this morning. The kids, barely able to walk, were gravitating to Dion as if he was Santa Clause! I’ve never seen a politician who is a natural magnet for kids. That’s very impressive. Kids know b.s. The fact that they like Dion is a really good sign.
September 18, 2008 at 6:30 am
Re “The kids, barely able to walk, were gravitating to Dion as if he was Santa Clause!”
So a Lib flyer arrives in yesterday’s mail. Dion signs off on the pitch. Stupid Lib handlers! That sig should never see the light of day! I am no hand writing analyst by any stretch of the imagination, but there is a certain “non-connectnedness” attached to what I would consider to be a juvenile chicken scratch.
September 18, 2008 at 6:53 am
Back in 2004, I did a comparison of the signatures of the different U.S. politicians. It was kind of interesting. Howard Dean’s was atrocious. But then he’s a doctor…
September 18, 2008 at 7:24 am
Well, he is a Professor. His handwriting is probably a mess from all that writing over the years.
I’m not saying Dion is a saint or the second coming. I was just really impressed by how the kids gravitated to him. He may ‘appear’ disconnected, but it seems his energy is good and draws people to him. Unlike Harper, who scares the crap out of most people.
I think Dion is mostly a thinker and introspective. What he lacks in charm and flashy strong leadership display, he makes up for in substance and integrity. Give me a geek with a heart over a popular controller anyday.
September 18, 2008 at 7:30 am
I haven’t seen his event today, but there was one moment I liked from yesterday during the Q&A where one of the people in the audience was obviously not a fan and made a remarks about the Liberals’ shady past (AdScam!) and how Harper was a man of integrity who had kept his promises… At this point, the audience started to boo. Dion immediately hushed them up, told them to stop and let the questioner speak. He was quite adamant about it. Then he respectfully heard the guy out and answered his question.
A little thing, but somewhat insightful.
September 18, 2008 at 9:08 am
RT, I agree. A little thing which tells a lot about him. He’s a good guy I think.
September 18, 2008 at 9:25 am
A little thing, but somewhat insightful.
A big thing, as far as I’m concerned. Too bad the cynics who consider Canadians morons don’t expect us to value things like that.
September 18, 2008 at 9:25 am
Good grief….my husband’s handwriting is the worst I’ve ever seen, believe it’s bad. He’s the favourite uncle of all our 21 nieces and nephews and 6 great nieces and nephews. Dogs just love him. In fact, one our friend’s dog followed him home one night and didn’t want to back with it’s owner. I wish he wasn’t so grumpy with me….but hey, he’s a good guy.
Dion was in a little town a few months ago, at a school that was environtmentally conscious and active. He didn’t lecture “them”, he listened to them. Their projects are….raising money for solar panels for the school and the Terry Fox charity.
They, by the way, won an award.
September 18, 2008 at 9:33 am
Handwriting analysis is sheer quackery. Pass it on.
September 18, 2008 at 9:37 am
The kids, barely able to walk, were gravitating to Dion as if he was Santa Clause! I’ve never seen a politician who is a natural magnet for kids.
Interesting to contrast this with this story from a few years back.
“Alarmed by the positive poll readings Martin garnered recently from his encounters with pre-voting-age Canadians who appear to enjoy the Prime Minister’s company, Harper’s handlers arranged a photo-op of their own at a Wallaceburg, Ont., rehab centre for children.
“But the Tory leader was miscast for the assignment. He watched silently, not knowing what to say to these kids. Until, that is, one of the finger-painting toddlers leaned toward his tailored suit.
” ‘Don’t touch me,’ Harper said.”
September 18, 2008 at 9:39 am
LOL.
September 18, 2008 at 10:07 am
I remember that episode well…”Don’t just my suit; it’s Savile Row!”
What is with Conservatives who don’t seem to think these types of events are revealing and should cast Mr. Sweater Vest’s makeover in a particular light? Do they enjoy being gulled?
September 18, 2008 at 10:07 am
s.b “Don’t touch my suit…”